The Third Place Has Disappeared

Some non-fiction!

Hey all,

The origin of this week’s post is my inability to read a full set of guidelines. I stumbled across a global health op-ed contest with the prompt “write about a public health threat in your community that people aren’t talking about enough (limit 1000 words).”

Unfortunately, as I geared up to submit, I saw that this contest was exclusively for writers that lived in Africa. So, into the desk drawer it went. (Until now!).

(This is more essay-ish than my previously shared stuff, but rest assured that I’m working on a few more short stories as well. More of those will be coming your way soon enough.)

Enjoy! (And as always, share with anyone you think would like it.)

Cheers,

Andy

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The Third Place Is Disappearing – Let’s Bring It Back

            Ronda taps her foot waiting for the elevator. Checks her watch. The doors slide open to the Lobby, and she struts toward the room, greeting the familiar faces and keeping her eyes open for anyone new. Ronda likes to know every player – smack talk is easier when you know what makes your opponent tick. She finds an open table and sits. Chairs scoot in around her. Shuffled cards patter against the playing surface like raindrops on an umbrella. Hands are dealt. The game is on. 

If I asked you to guess the setting, you might assume Ronda’s hunkered down, late night at the tables in Vegas or Atlantic City – poker, hold ‘em, stud, something like that. But you’d be wrong. It’s 2:00pm in Virginia on an uneventful Tuesday in my condominium complex. Oh, and the game isn’t poker. It’s bridge. Ronda is the social chair of my building, and the senior folks here play twice a week (plus mahjong on Wednesdays).  

The community room of my condo, dubbed The Ridge Room per the plaque outside the door, is an example of what sociologists call the “Third Place.” Ray Oldenburg is credited with first characterizing the notion in his book The Great Good Place (though he used a different term), and Robert Putnam addressed it as well in Bowling Alone: America’s Declining Social Capital. The concept of the Third Place is simple — a location for social gathering unrelated to either your home or your place of work. The notion has been around for hundreds of years, adapting depending on the society and era much the same way clothing might take on a new form while still serving the same general function. Plazas and marketplaces morphed into coffeehouses and pubs as society industrialized. Today, we still have the cafes and bars, but we’ve added others as well — malls, recreational sports leagues, neighborhood barbershops, etc. Places of worship are another example, having been around in nearly every society playing the role of the Third Place.

Ideally, these in-person communal spots’ only ticket to entry is checking your social status at the door. The prosperous mingle with the impoverished, the blue collar share a conversation with the white collar, and the elderly mix with the young.

Third Places play a vital role in shaping our public health and unfortunately, they’re disappearing.

In May of 2023, the Surgeon General of the United States, Dr. Vivek Murthy, called attention to a current public health crisis in the country: loneliness and isolation (Department of Health and Human Services, 2023). The 83-page PDF issued by HHS includes some staggering statistics. Roughly half of American adults experience loneliness (even before the COVID-19 pandemic exacerbated the issue in recent years) (Bruce et al, 2018). And the effects of social isolation on physical health are real — loneliness is associated with a greater risk of developing cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, and anxiety. For perspective, the impact that social disconnectedness has on mortality is akin to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day (Holt-Lunstad et al, 2017).

It’s no coincidence that an epidemic of loneliness emerges just as Third Places go missing. Some have waned because society has begun to abandon (or completely abandoned) the function they serve (e.g., places of worship or smoking lounges), while others moved online – social clubs became social media, poker rooms went virtual, record stores were replaced by Spotify. In the second half of the 20th century, according to a wide survey, there has also been a marked decline in membership and volunteering at civic organizations (Putnam, 2000). The organizations in this survey are wide-ranging, encompassing everything from religious groups like the Knights of Columbus to Red Cross volunteers to labor union members. Putnam’s titular example, bowling, is an apt one. While the number of people who bowled in the United States increased from ~1980 to ~2000, the people who bowled in a dedicated league actually decreased.

Non-work time is simply becoming a singular commodity, instead of one dominated by groups. Even twenty years ago when his book was published, Putnam noted that technology was a main cause of this, by “individualizing” a person’s leisure time with TV or the internet. His hypothesized medium wasn’t quite right when he predicted that virtual reality helmets would be next (though they could be soon), but the trend certainly continued. The smart phone, and in particular social media, has been bogarting more and more of our free time (and let’s be honest, some of our work time). Although the detrimental health effects of social media are well-documented, humans can’t seem to stop. These apps are designed to engage and keep engaging, and they’re good at it – over a third of Americans report being addicted to social media (AddictionHelp.Com, 2023). However, online social interaction simply cannot replace the psychological and emotional nourishment gained from physical, person-to-person connection.

Dr. Murthy ended his Letter addressing the “Loneliness Epidemic” with a call to action. He asked each of us to strengthen our individual relationships and support community efforts to rebuild social connection. But this begs the question — in a society where the Third Place has all but disappeared, how are we supposed to find others? 

Although the societal problem looms large, the solution may be small. Keeping the Third Place from becoming endangered is as simple as looking for local in-person opportunities. I promise you, they exist. Try a game night in your community. Say yes when that friend suggests joining a softball league. Volunteer at your local food bank on a weekend. Start small, once per month, and go from there. You might just find a new tribe.

Personally, I might have to learn something from the retirees in my building. After all, playing bridge and smack talking Ronda on Tuesday afternoons could be vital to my health.  

References (alphabetical order):

1.     Addictionhelp.com; Social Media Addiction Statistics; Last updated August 15, 2023.

2.     Bruce LD, Wu JS, Lustig SL, Russell DW, Nemecek DA. Loneliness in the United States: A 2018 National Panel Survey of Demographic, Structural, Cognitive, and Behavioral Characteristics. Am J Health Promot. 2019;33(8):1123-1133.

3.     Department of Health and Human Services, United States. Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community. May 2023.

4.     Holt-Lunstad J, Robles TF, Sbarra DA. Advancing social connection as a public health priority in the United States. Am Psychol. 2017;72(6):517-530.

5.     Oldenburg, Ray (1999). The Great Good Place. Marlowe ; Distributed by Publishers Group West, New York, [Berkeley, Calif.].

6.     Putnam, Robert D. (2000). Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community. New York: Simon & Schuster. pp. 283–284. ISBN 978-0684832838.